She wanted to empower new parents with tools to understand how they can support their young children
Today, I’d like to share the story of one of my clients, Rachel Kammeyer. We’ve heard from Rachel on the Learn With Less® podcast in a few past episodes, in which she shared her own experiences with Learn With Less® resources from her perspective as a parent. In this episode, however, she’s back to talk about her experience from the perspective of a professional.
Rachel is a speech-language pathologist, and the owner of Improvised Therapy. Her career has been an illustration of the varied opportunities the field of speech-language pathology offers, including work in a pediatric private practice, elementary and middle schools, sub-acute brain injury rehabilitation, skilled nursing rehab, home health, advocacy for the rights of the disabled, and most recently, expanding into parent training to support infants and toddlers, and developing community-based support groups for adults caring for adults.
For our purposes today, Rachel and I sat down to talk about her parent education work, as it’s near and dear to her heart as a parent of several young children (and one more on the way), and as a professional. Without further ado, let’s bring Rachel to the conversation!
Related Resources in This Episode
Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Apply Now
Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes
Learn With Less® podcast episode: How to Impact Your Community With Parent Education and Parent Coaching Skills, with Laurel Smith
Learn With Less® podcast episode: How Lesley Took Her Existing Skills as an Educator, and Started Serving Infant/Toddler Families In a Holistic, Meaningful Way
Learn With Less® podcast episode: How to Use Your Skills as an Educator or Therapist to Serve Families Holistically as a Parent Educator, with Allie Glazer
Learn With Less® podcast episode: Activities For Your Baby and Toddler, with Rachel Kammeyer
Learn With Less® podcast episode: Surviving and Thriving in the First Year of Motherhood, with Rachel Kammeyer
Connect With Us:
Rachel: Website / Facebook / Instagram
Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest
Text Transcript of This Episode
Ayelet: Rachel, you’ve been on the Learn With Less podcast several times before in a parenting capacity. And now you’re back in a professional role. You’ve always been a speech language pathologist throughout our relationship, our knowledge of each other. And also, you’ve, you’ve been a mom through this entire process as well. You decided to move forward into the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program. And you have completed the training program, and you are a certified Learn With Less® facilitator. So I just wanted to take a few minutes and chat with you about you know, what that experience, number one, has been like for you. What brought you into this part of wanting to use Learn With Less® in this capacity in your life, and just hear a bit more about that?
Rachel: I’m really thrilled, this has been a really awesome journey, and especially in this year. I think growth, and, you know, achieving a really, a growth mindset is sort of like what you need in this year. And also, the idea of, like, Learn With Less®, has become critical, because so much of us had access to so much less this year. And, in a lot of ways, that’s been something that’s kept me going when it took longer than the perfectionist would have necessarily wanted. But I really believe in this framework. And I really believe in everything that the Learn With Less® philosophy is about – not just as a parenting philosophy, but as an evidence based philosophy, or tried and true, I mean, if it’s evidence-based, we know that the science supports it.
And as I’ve thought a lot about what I want my practice to be in the future, when I’m no longer mostly a stay-at-home mom, I really want to support people so that they know that they are enough and that they feel empowered and have tools that are simple and straightforward, and can give a child and a parent an opportunity to connect without the extraordinary amount of pressure that is put on parents and caregivers these days. And so that was sort of the personal motivation, plus the professional recognition that this is a fantastic program, and also that it’s for any child zero to three, it’s not necessarily for a child who is presenting with some sort of communication disorder, it’s for everybody, and that we all benefit from these types of activities.
What Are The Challenges For New Parents?
I think, I think there are two problems. I think there’s a crisis of confidence that a lot of new parents or even parents who have – one of my participants, were saying, I know I’ve been there and done that. But I, you know, you forget. And I think that comes from a culture of comparison and social media and a lot of things that make it really easy to judge ourselves. And I think the other problem that we’re solving is that — this is all my opinion, it does not necessarily reflect the opinions of Learn With Less®! But I think that there’s a lot of competition and pressure that we place on children to be academically successful that the measures of childhood have become a little skewed towards like the alphabet, counting. And those are important. And I think that a lot of the toy industry has prioritized that.
And so, when it comes to social/emotional learning, or helping a child learn how to feel their body out to develop, and rhyming and how so important rhyming is as a phonological skill, these things are really basic and don’t have to be huge. And I think that memo was sort of, like, lost in the advertising culture. And so to me, the two problems are how do I help a parent feel confident that what they have is enough, and what they do is enough, and then if there’s something that they might learn to grow, that that’s great. And then also that the things that we have in our home, like my laundry basket cover that I’m holding in my hand, is a circle, okay, circle, there’s one thing, but it also has a lot of texture, and we can talk about the color, and I didn’t have to pay for a giant toy that represents a circle, I’ve got it right here in my bedroom. And there’s so much opportunity in that, that it’s almost like the problem is we’ve told people that they need more, when really less is more.
But I really feel like, you know, I want parents to take a step back and say, you know, what I’m paying for is connection and support and confidence. And maybe seeing the world through the eyes of a child where everything is new and interesting, and that it doesn’t have to be something off the shelf, or that it could be off the grocery shelf, you know, it could be off any shelf. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the toy shop. Right? And that’s going to be okay, because it’s from the child’s perspective. And we’re feeding into what they need. Yeah.
Ayelet: So what because you’ve now been explaining the program to people in your life and your community… What do you number one what we’d love to hear some feedback that you’ve received from people who have experienced to your class (and you don’t have to, you know, quote them), but just in a succinctly ish way, whatever the kinds of things that that people were saying about your class and what you did do for them?
Educate New Parents By Educating Ourselves
Rachel: I think a lot of the feedback we got was that it was valuable, that it was worth the time to take the time. To connect with other caregivers, and parents, and that parents have it in there, and they just needed to be reminded. And so I think I’m really excited to show parents all the different components of the framework through a variety of different opportunities. So they can really kind of get into ways to generalize this beyond the class.
Ayelet: Yes. Which, of course, is the like, entire point, right? We’re literally we’re building family capacity in this way. Yeah. Yeah. So what how about for you, like, what’s been a perception change for you? Because we’ve talked a little bit about from the participants point of view, but how about you, as a facilitator, like, who came into this program, maybe thinking, you’re going to learn one thing, and then what has been a perception change for you, coming out?
Rachel: I honestly didn’t think that I was going to be as insecure about some parts of it, I really came into it thinking like, I’ve got this, I don’t need to improve. I mean, like, there’s a horrible conceit, sometimes, you know, we as professionals have, and like I was talking about with growth, I think a lot of it that was so humbling was suddenly being like, it was 15 years ago, and I’m a grad student again, and there’s something I need to learn. And there’s something that I need to be judged, and not in a bad way. But in a like, I have to be accountable. And I really, like was surprised and humbled to have that experience of like, this is bigger than me. This is not just, you know, putting on my speech therapist hat, putting on my friend hat, it’s a different hat.
And I need to learn how to wear that hat, and also give other people the space to be themselves. How do I learn to be like, you know, why am I talking? Right? You know, that’s an exercise I think I will probably have until I am riddled with dementia, and someone else is teaching me to give someone else a turn again, you know, and it’s gonna be like… But it’s I think, you know, this is part of the reason I signed up for this program is because I think somewhere inside of me, I knew I wanted to be the kind of friend and caregiver and professional who was better at letting other people have those opportunities to practice.
Ayelet: So there’s a question… why now? We’ve been in the depths of a pandemic. You have two young children, what on earth made you decide to go as you said, back to grad school to learn something new to improve something, to learn some new skills? What was the impetus for you? And I would love to hear that?
New Parents All Have The Same Questions
Rachel: Oh, well, I think there are a couple things first, and foremost, being a speech therapist, and being a, like, helper is my identity like, is very much wrapped up in who I am. And I always knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home parent, mostly because I can only juggle a few things at a time while maintaining my sanity, I’m just like a two things that are big, and that’s it. Otherwise, I struggle too much. So not “working” quote, as a speech therapist. And also being a parent, though very fulfilling, and exactly what I want for my life right now, there was definitely this void of… it’s not that I’m not doing what I love. I’m using what I love every day, but I’m not using it in a professional capacity that could also help educate other people.
So this program was sort of like this perfect bridge between the two “wants” of my life. And when I signed up for it, I knew that in a few months, maybe that stretched out quite a bit. Eventually my kids are going to be well, my kids will be back in preschool, you know, and both of them will be in preschool. And I’ve really grown… and the other impetus for this is that I’ve become very involved with our local parents club. And I just keep hearing and listening to the parents who are having their first kids, having their second, multiple children through zero to five. And they’re always asking the same questions, they always have the same things they want to know and feel reassured about.
And I thought, well, with this program, in my community, I can become a resource to help the parents in that group start to have a place that they can go to find answers, or at least find support, if not answers. And so that was the other draw. And that’s not going to change if there’s a pandemic or not. Right. And so for me, definitely there was the bridging the gap between parent and SLP and then also just wanting to put this program in the hands of more and more people, because I really do believe in it.
Ayelet: Well, and you’ve experienced it as a parent, too, which is really special!
Rachel: Yeah, I it really like – I was so happy, like okay, so for anyone who hasn’t listened to the other podcasts, I stalked Ayelet on Facebook, because I wanted to find local SLP friend moms, and then it turned out that she had this amazing empire she was building! And so, you know, win-win! I learned a lot from that relationship. And so, you know, I think that that’s what we all want is connection and finding people that help us feel good about the way we’re raising our children.
Ayelet: Oh, yeah, cheers to that. What do you feel like will be the impact on your life and community as you continue along this journey?
The Impact on Parent Education On Your Community
Rachel: Well, I like to dream big. So I’m hoping that the Learn With Less® brand, and then other speech therapists who are also associated with the brand, and not just speech therapists, as well, just anyone who is a professional in the sphere…
Ayelet: Right, because we’ve got occupational therapists, special educators, early childhood educators…
Rachel: That anyone in this will be valued for our opinions and for the science that backs the activities and resources that are offered. And that whenever a parent says, “Oh, you know, sometimes I’m not sure what I should do, how do I keep my two year old engaged? I’m really frustrated with this situation…” That someone will say, oh, have you? Have you talked to Rachel or Oh, there’s this book, Understanding Your Toddler, and that the answers will be readily accessible to people, and that it’s going to be local! And it’s going to be science, and that ‘s my goal.
So, so I just wrapped my series, I’m going on maternity leave. And so I think, Well, you know, for sure I’m gonna do an infant class. I don’t know if I can swing a toddler class with a newborn, but from the toddler class was also very, like, what are some concerns you have, and I had one friend who kind of mentioned some things that fell onto my like therapist radar, right. But what we’re doing isn’t therapy. It’s really more about helping parents feel competent and successful. So I’m really working on that piece. Like that’s always going to be the piece that’s hardest for me is the “not director, but facilitator.” So I really challenged myself to just be like, I’m not going to bring it up. I’m not going to ask, I’m just going to provide opportunities.
And we were doing the lesson for one – it was heavy work – because my son needed heavy work and that was the other thing… I was like, I know how much heavy work changed my life and so it’s one of my favorite ones to talk about. And in that lesson, we talk a lot, you know, Ayelet did an amazing job putting together the “Oh, I love how you’re like reaching or do you feel balanced when you’re leaning over,” and so what was happening is the other two participants… for some context, this is all happening in my front yard.
So like, I had this plan for them to move the laundry baskets. And instead, they wanted to like run around and go up and down the steps to my front porch, what I observed was, the child couldn’t go up and out independently. And he’s about two and a half. And when he was always like, leaning out for his mom to grab him, and then the other little girl who was one could go up, but she couldn’t come down. And so these steps were suddenly presenting this really natural opportunity for us to kind of talk about how we can make that transition from being the person who brings the kid versus the person who coaches the kid.
And so it was just so much fun to like, be on the steps, kind of walking backwards with one and then saying, oh, why don’t we show him how to use the side of the step to hold on to like, I love how you’re reaching for support, and Oh, do you feel stable, and then you could see the mom was like, Oh!, and I didn’t have to go into the body mechanics or any of that, she could just see that he felt confident. And she was giving him a tool versus being there like the tool. And so it was just it was a really great class. And then of course, the next time he came, all he wanted to do was show me how he could go up and down the steps… which provided another opportunity for talking about how you can entice the child into an interaction when they really want to go do something else, you know.
But I got a lot of feedback that that was sort of, like, mind boggling in a lot of ways. The like, Oh, this is this is the bridge between seeing what I want them to be able to do and then doing it myself. And then in the next lesson, one of the kids was very reticent to put the jacket on. And the mom looked right at me was like, he’s not gonna put that jacket on. And I was like, great! We have a baby doll. Let’s put the jacket on the baby doll. So we, so it was in a lot of ways. It was this crazy moment where I didn’t. I’m not practicing as a therapist. So sometimes when I have these moments, I’m like, oh, like therapist mode, like it’s still in there.
Ayelet: I mean, you’ve been in mom mode, which is quite similar.
Rachel: Yes. Right. So the baby doll was like, “oh, help me get dressed! Can you put…” and it’s like this giant toddler size like, and he jumped right in. And like, it was so cool to have this moment again, where it’s like, I’m not telling her how to do anything. We’re just playing. And I was like we’re playing: everything is about playing. And so I think the value that my participants got out of it was seeing that we as parents are playing, too and how we can be both like, in one sense, the director or the facilitator, or the coach. Yeah. And then also the playmate. And it really like I just I could tell that there was a lot of like, relief. Yes. So yeah, so coming off of that was really special, because that was the last class, too.
Ayelet: Before your maternity leave. Yeah, so awesome, Rachel.
Rachel: Right, a lot of it just came from like gauging their reactions from one class to another and tweaking it, because the infant class had a completely different dynamic, because the infants were all four months old. I mean, they’re like, they’re just, they’re kind of there. And it’s really about the, the parents and or the caregivers, and that and so they’re all kind of shy and all kind of quiet. And so it took a little while to like kind of figure out if we were having a groove. But you can also play with that, too. I was like, Oh, we don’t, we can do a lot more sharing and support with the infant class, like that ended up being the bigger piece.
And so it turned out more to be like the “mommy and me” support versus like, a whole lot of the kind of content that gets stressed. But that was just those three moms, I mean, a different group might have a different vibe. And so I think, you know, what they’re going to tell their friends is, it was so good to be able to talk to new moms versus the toddlers were potentially saying, or the parents of the…
Ayelet: What do you think the families with the who participated in your toddler class would, would be saying?
Rachel: I think they would be saying that they would feel more empowered and more confident. And then they, that their play changed how they play what they get out of the play changed. One of the moms would fill out the survey and she said that she could see more things for her daughter to do during the day, because she, again, when you listen, what or when you’re opening up for the struggles hers was I can’t get anything done because my daughter’s right there all the time. And it’s like, oh, okay, well if you’re in the kitchen, here’s the things in the kitchen you can give to help her play, you know, without saying that, just with her experiencing it.
Ayelet: Right exactly because that’s the entire class. Didn’t have to say it you just you just showed her! So powerful.
Rachel: Yeah.
The Social and Human Impact of Increasing Family Capacity Through Parent Education
Ayelet: Yeah! I’m curious, because you’ve mentioned like the word community, and being local, and serving your own area a few times, like, what does that mean to you? What’s the value of that for you?
Rachel: So this is sort of probably a unique to the Bay Area situation, there’s a high rate of turnover in this area for long term friendships and community, I think, because it is expensive pandemic change to how people are working. And I think I’ve had like 15 friends move this year. And I think that for me, I moved a lot as a kid, I don’t really know if I have like a home. I know, a lot of people here, especially in my community are not local, we didn’t grow up here, our family isn’t here. And we have to create a village and a lot of times, we have our work life, and then we have children. And so you’re like dating to find parents, you know, dating to find families that kind of align with how you want to learn, because sometimes you meet really cool people, and then you do a playdate. And you’re like, Oh, we have different philosophies on things. Right? Oh, we can’t…
Ayelet: Which is also valuable, right?!
Rachel: Exactly. And so you have to, like, take a step back and be like, what, why am I uncomfortable? Or is it just that, you know, this is new to me? Or is this remind me of something I experienced? You know, it’s just, there’s a lot. And so I think, especially for me, and especially in this area, having parents feel like they are supported kind of replaces the like, absent grandparents or the like, you know, the, the friends that you have for the first year, and then they move because they want to have an affordable home, with, you know, a lot of square footage, because they want to have more than one kid, you know, and so there’s, that’s why it’s very important to me.
And you know, you psychologically, you could probably go back and be like, Oh, well, you know, you said that you moved like 13 times in 12 years, you know, like, is that important to you, Rachel? Probably, but I also do you think that especially during the pandemic, we’ve seen that like, who is in your community doesn’t have to be geographic, like, you know, and that, you know, we have a lot of opportunity for virtual connection that is quite meaningful, and some of us are going to be doing this for quite some time. And I feel like a lot of us really just want to know that our kids have friends, too, that they can still be connected, even though they may not be going to preschool or daycare, like we had planned or envisioned for them earlier.
Ayelet: that’s all it’s all there. Who knew? Zoom “parent and me” is definitely a thing! Yeah, yep. I would love to know if you have anything that you would say to another professional, potentially thinking about becoming a facilitator?
Rachel: Oh, I do. Because I have like four of my friends that I want to, like, have do this. Because for one reason or another, I think they’d be phenomenal. I think that especially some of the questions and insight that I’ve heard from my friends who are in the early childhood sphere, that the ability to demonstrate and offer opportunities for ritual and routine and expanding on different communities and having equity is crucial. And we’re part of that. That, no matter your socioeconomic status, no matter your race, religion or creed, all of this applies to everybody. And that this is a really accessible toolkit, I mean for any family. And so for, I have friends who are providing services, and I have friends that are much more just like caregivers, caretakers, but they’re very social and have huge networks.
I think that if you have any interest in helping people feel like they have what it takes, and they have what they need, and you want someone to like, you want to be able to, like, show them that. But you don’t necessarily want to write the book, Ayelet already did it for you! And that actually, the training is golden. Like, I really am just, you know, I was telling my husband that this is, it’s no joke, like it is legit. It’s very well structured, it’s put together in a super professional and quality away. It is like having a very big CEU course, it’s training for a certification to use their program. People might say, Oh, I want to pay for like XYZ training so that I can have this credential. And I would say, this is an equivalent program for serving this population. If you’re considering that one, you could also consider this one, and also not even have to be offering it as a professional scope of practice. This is something anyone could have access to. And that’s, I think, really huge. The net is broader for serving, because, right, like specific to one component of the population or a child with some sort of communication disorder.
Ayelet: Yeah, exactly. It, you’re becoming a parent educator, this is how you can do that with an inclusive program that can serve any family from anywhere, in any way. Yeah. Is there anything else that you would like to add or just share from the heart? Rachel?
Rachel: You know, I have to say that one of the parts of the training that surprised me that we dive into, like, what holds us back? And I think very few trainings, offer that level of reflection. And then that piece is not just powerful, because… because I can tell you like after I finished that module, I was like, okay, whatever. And then three months later, when I was like, why am I scared to schedule my demo? It was, oh, okay, this is what’s going on here. And you had already had the forethought and the wisdom to address that. Because that’s what some people do. They have what it takes, and they are self limiting for a variety of reasons, either related to perfectionism, or a fear of starting a business, or not knowing how, but everything that you put into the training is useful and relevant for the process of becoming a professional who is serving a population. And so I just, I really, I really appreciated that.
I shared [in our facilitator community group] that I literally had a dream where like, I was falling off a precipice. And then like Ayelet pulls like some steps out of nowhere. But it was like my brain reconciling like “you have what it takes, it’s okay. Look, it’s already here. You’ve got this!” But also being, that it’s fine to say “I’m scared.”
Ayelet: In the group…
Rachel: Yes, yeah, yeah. And that it’s, you’re gonna be supported. And I think that, you know, I was really surprised by how relevant it became as time went on. And I really, I think anyone who really practices vulnerability knows that you have to give people the tools to not just be vulnerable, but to do something with that, and I think this program is great for allowing you to grow. That’s that’s what, that’s all I have to say about that.
Ayelet: Thank you. Rachel, thank you so much.
Are You Looking For a Parent Education Training Program?
Now, if this kind of work calls to you, if you are an educator or therapist looking for new ways to serve families, to use your knowledge to support new parents and caregivers in your community, I’d love for you to check out the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program. When you send in your application, I’ll be gifting you my exclusive, private training all about how to create lasting impact leading “caregiver & me” classes with a high quality, evidence-based, “plug and play” program that will have families coming back again and again. All you need to do to get an invitation, is fill out the quick application form at learnwithless.com/certification
Now, I’d love to know more about you: does this work call to you? Do you already serve families in your community in a similar way? Send me a direct message on Instagram – I’m @learnwithless and I’d love to hear from you!
