Building a Sense of Community in Parenting
On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, Ayelet sits down with Desiree Viray, an early childhood educator, mother, entrepreneur, parent partner and parent educator, Learn With Less® facilitator, and the owner of Empowered Family Collective.
Desiree’s purpose and joy are rooted in serving, empowering and walking with educators, parents / caregivers, and families through each stage of development, impacting children’s lives through a family-centered approach to play, talk (language development), song, movement, connection, and simplicity. Her work at Empowered Family Collective helps families find moments of joy, and opportunities for intentionality and simplicity in each stage of child development and parenthood/caregiving. She offers “caregiver & me” groups for families using the Learn With Less® curriculum, among other services.
Not familiar with the term, “caregiver & me” classes? We use it as a more inclusive term instead of “mommy & me” classes. Our classes are open to – and meant for – ALL parents and caregivers: not just moms… but also dads, non-binary folks, grandparents, foster parents, babysitters, nannies, and other amazing grownups who care for tiny humans. We’re going to play the “search term” game here (so you can find this great content more easily!) and help shift the conversation from “mommy & me” classes to “caregiver & me” classes… to do our part to shape the more inclusive world we’d like to live in.
In this episode, we discuss:
- Desiree’s background, how she came into the world of early childhood education, and where her career has taken her
- What drew her to the Learn With Less® philosophy, and the value of prioritizing parents and caregivers and parent education
- How she has placed her values front and center with regard to her own business decisions, marketing decisions, and how she coaches families
- The ways in which creating a sense of belonging serves both her as a business owner, as well as serving families with young children
- How she has respected her internal pace and intentionally created slow and steady growth
Helpful Resources Related to This Episode
Learn With Less® Stories: Additional podcast episodes and other interviews from educators who’ve provided the Learn With Less® infant/toddler family enrichment curriculum and families who’ve experienced our programming.
FREE Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint: Discover the four major areas of infant and toddler development, what’s involved in each one in the first three years of life, and what you can do to support that learning (using what you already have in your home).
Desiree’s Podcast, Storm and Sky (specifically, her episode on writing new chapters – what happens when you find yourself in your sweet spot)
Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy.
Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®.
Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you!
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Text Transcript of The Podcast Episode
Ayelet: Welcome to the Learn With Less® Podcast. Today I am joined by my dear friend and colleague Desiree Viray. Desiree, welcome to the Learn With Less® podcast. So happy you’re here.
Desiree: Thank you for having me. I’m really excited to be here.
Ayelet: Yay! Desiree, I would love it if you could just tell us a little bit about you who you are, your background and what led you to come into the world of Learn With Less®?
Desiree: Yes, I was an educator in the classroom for about 16 years. And I’m going to take it way back to junior college where I did not know what I wanted to do with my life, and I felt lost. I found my way when I stumbled across a flyer from Bright Horizons. I took my very first child psychology class, and I was hooked.
That literally was the seed to my career in early childhood education. It should not have come as a surprise to me, because I actually come from a long line of educators. My paternal grandfather was a principal in the Philippines. I have been in the classroom, as I mentioned, for 16 years. I managed a team, if you will. One of my dream jobs was to become a principal, which I tried on for two and a half years… and realized that it just was not my thing. And I’m glad that I tried it.
Fast forward a little bit. I’ve since transitioned into executive support. I’m not surprised that my skills have transferred over really nicely to this role. So I do that full time. I am a bonus mama to two wonderful children that I met about eight years ago. They are 10 going on 20, and 12 going on 50. My son has a very old soul. One morning, I heard him say Hey, Google… Play Elvis Presley. Like that’s, that’s my kid I love.
I met you and I stumbled upon Learn With Less® when my good friend Lesley Mayson had posted about her own experience. And I was in a bit of a transition. I knew that I wanted to serve the community in some capacity, and I had thought, Oh, I’m going to be a career coach! Took an intro class and realize that specific framework was not the right fit for me because I am an intense introvert. And when I met you, and you told me a little bit more about how the information is disseminated. Again, I was hooked. And so here we are together. A year later!
What is it about the Learn With Less® Program That Speaks to You?
Ayelet: Let’s hear a little bit about what was it that really intrigued you about the way that the Learn With Less® facilitator training and certification program, really… What is it that really got you in terms of feeling like it was a better fit? Not only, of course, within the way that you wanted to serve and impact your community, but also in the way that we do our training? Because it sounds like that, as as I know from speaking with you over the year, I know that really was useful to you. But I’d love to hear specifically what it was about it then.
Desiree: The thing that really drew me in is the fact that it is play-based. I was in a program where we had a community of parents and caregivers that did not initially see the value of a play-based program. And I tell you, I talk to them still, many of these families, their children are probably now in middle school, which is absolutely insane to think about. They talk about that time, this magical time that they had in this particular program. Now seeing why play was so important, and is still so important. So that was part of it is just the fact that it was play-based.
The other part is that it was a mix of philosophies, Ayelet. I came from a program that was heavily inspired by Reggio. And so my own value system, my own philosophy around education, is actually a mix of those different philosophies and ways of thinking around child development and play. So that was the other part.
The receiving of the information is that I got to choose my own adventure. I took about a year to go through the actual program. And you and our community did not make me feel guilty about that! We had just talked about time being a very precious and scarce resource, right. While working full time, I would go through the program when I felt called to it. And that is so empowering.
I just want to pause there because I got to make very intentional choices as to when I engaged in that learning. And that was really important to me as a working mom, and someone that was making a very serious investment in this… I don’t like to call it a small business because it’s not small! In this venture, this new chapter that I was writing for myself.
Ayelet: I love that. Yeah, it’s so important to me, in terms of the way that people go through the program, to have that opportunity. Because we know that not everybody life circumstances are the same. Everyone is coming from a different educational, professional background. People are dealing with different COVID restrictions, different life restrictions, different life pathways, and some people zip through it, who are in your exact circumstances, right? Who are working full time parents, and some choose because of other circumstances to take their time.
What we try to do is, like you said, try and create that ability for people to self determine what it is that is important to them, and what they need while continuing to provide the support, and information sharing, and inspiration to those who are ready to take it in, as well. And to bring you back in, and pull you back in, when it’s time.
Finding Your Sweet Spot, Creating Balance in Your Life
Desiree: Yes, you make me think about this conversation that I had with a few – three of the executives that I support right now. And I said to them, no joke, I’m retiring with you all, I will be on this team supporting you all for as long as you’ll have me. And one of them said, I really worry about the day that you’re going to leave and want more. And I told him, I found my sweet spot.
Sometimes people search a lifetime for that sweet spot where you feel like everything is integrated at just the right volume, if you will. And so that was the beauty of Learn With Less®, is that I was able to maintain equilibrium, if you will. I was able to maintain that sweet spot. I think that was really important to me, it still is really important to me. And I just I want to talk more about that with other people! Just that if you have found your sweet spot, that’s okay. And that is good.
Ayelet: Yeah, well, I want to dig into that more, actually, because it’s such a perfect parallel to what you’re doing for families using the Learn Wit Less® curriculum, right? Because yeah, I mean, as we were also talking about before we started recording, new families have such limited bandwidth. And so asking them or sharing with them new ideas for more ways that they can play with their child, and more things to do, and more things to buy, and blah, blah, blah, is like… no! That’s not what people want.
I want to actually quote you. When you entered the program, I ask people, you know, why are you passionate about being a parent educator using the Learn With Less® curriculum? You wrote that this chapter is rooted in wanting to help caregivers feel and be empowered to look at their environments through a different lens, and to help them see value in and find their way to simplicity. So I mean, well done, Desiree of the past.
Desiree: I wrote that?
Ayelet: You did! And that’s, I mean, that’s it. I think, that really cuts to the heart of what we’re doing here and why. And I wonder if you could just say a little bit more about that. And what you think was going through your head when you wrote that! What it is that you, now that you’ve been through the training program, and you are a licensed Learn With Less® facilitator. You’re fully certified, you’re doing the thing, you’re marketing your classes, you’ve hosted a demo class, and you’ve done some investment into local marketing things. So let’s talk about what it is you are trying to create for folks who enter your space and what the value is of your classes.
Intentionally Creating a Sense of Belonging
Desiree: Yes, I as you know, I hosted my first pop up last weekend, and it was actually a school district sponsored event, it was outdoors 80 degrees in Texas, and there was a breeze. So it was good. I learned a lot with it being my first pop up, and we can go back to that. But you encouraged me to really think about what my elevator pitch is and was. I got to practice it a number of times. Yes, it changed a number of times too. But it allowed me to get closer to what it – and that was the question. I was approached with, oh, Empowered Family Collective. What is it that you do?
I often started with, well, I’ve been an educator for a number of years. I’m also a parent and I one want to serve the community. And through that, it is about disseminating this message that your child, your children, don’t need the $100 toys. I’d walk over to the shelving that I had available because I wanted. The vibe that I wanted was, I wanted one to feel like you were walking into my living room.
Ayelet: Yeah. And to clarify, this was a pop up like marketing event. You were the vendor at a fair at the school district’s fair.
Desiree: That is correct. I wish you could have seen the faces when I was unloading my car. Then I talked a little bit about, and then I pointed to the recycled materials that I had collected and amassed over the last, I don’t know, six months? I talked about how oftentimes what our children want to interact with and play with and learn most from are the things that we have at home already. I had spatulas, colanders, tons of recycled materials. Then, of course, conversation began around, oh my gosh, yes. Why don’t I save the egg carton, right.
So I created, I like to call them invitations. I created invitations as to how you might pair something that you did buy from Amazon, because that’s real, with something that you purchase from the grocery store, like a yogurt tub, and how you could pair those things. That there is room for a combination of both situations. Then I talked a little bit about, you know, many times our families really crave, like, how do I cultivate independent play? It’s through that is through these open-ended materials that you offer. Because the possibilities are endless, and the creativity and the imagination is just bananas!
Ayelet: That’s right, that’s not going to happen with a press the button toy, cause and effect, right? There’s room for that, yes. And when you have these wonderful, open-ended – meaning materials that can be used in a multitude of different ways… You have endless opportunities, as you said. I love that. Yeah.
Desiree: And you hit on something. I think we can fall into the trap of “but” – I think what we’re doing through learn with less is the message of using more and yeah, I have these, what is the word that we use for things that have single use – prescriptive materials? There’s room for prescriptive materials and open-ended materials, loose parts.
Ayelet: Yeah. Right. Because the point is not to be anti toy. It’s very interesting. Because we do live, you and I are both stateside, we both live in the US. And we live in a very binary society, right? That’s how we’re socialized generally. And you have yes/no, good/bad, big/small. And that’s… so much of all of this is taking that down. Helping people see that parenting also in general is not a binary there’s no right and wrong way, right or wrong way to parent, a human. Number one, we’re all coming from a unique set of circumstances, life experiences, cultural, ethnic, and otherwise background. And number two, we have our different humans who have their specific needs.
So, we often in a Learn With Less® group, will touch upon those challenges, and also wins of what’s going on with families. And in that time, that sort of sharing time, it’s a wonderful opportunity for families to share, like, what is going on with them, what they’re challenged by. But of course, as you know, we talked so much about how this is not the time for you to give the prescription of oh, well, here’s how you can solve that problem. Right? Which I think a lot of us as the helpers of society. Early childhood educators, developmental therapists, we want to help we want to solve the problem, we want to get that child to the next milestone!. But in this case, it’s, it’s so much more about creating a space where people can feel seen and heard. And I wonder Desiree, if you could talk a little bit about that, in terms of what it is that you’re creating, and why that’s valuable.
Desiree: Oh, my gosh, yes. Many of the people that I met last weekend, were those who have moved to Texas recently, and are essentially rebuilding their communities, their villages. And that can be so challenging. And some people talked about how isolating it can be. That’s part of my purpose is to create these communities of support, especially for those who are feeling isolated by especially first time, early parenting. I am here to create space for whoever it is that you want to show up as today. I am here to simply listen.
One thing that I like to often start conversations with is, okay, I need to know, do you need me to listen? Or do you need solutions? Or do you need both? Because then that sets my mindset into the space of like, okay, I’m going to be totally clued in. And so one of the pieces of feedback that I receive quite often is that people often feel visible and heard by me. So I’m using… I’m hoping to really use that gift in the community while I’m serving them in that way. Building community. Allowing space for parents and caregivers to feel like it’s okay to make mistakes. You’re not going to show up as your best self every day. There are going to be things that are challenging and I want to be that sounding board for you. And to just help you feel okay with that?
Ayelet: Yeah, beautiful. I think for all our listeners here, right now, like it’s, I mean, if someone were there to do that, for me, when I was a brand new parent, that would have been really nice, right. And also, that’s for me also why I started leading these classes, because I wanted a place to be able to do that for myself and for others. I knew the value of that for myself. I knew how much I got out of creating a space for people.
I just want to come back to what you said about that. Instead of immediately jumping in to solve a problem, that that pause of asking a person and this is so true in all areas of life. It’s very, it can be very hard for people to do it is actually that moment of empathy, right? Where you’re asking someone what support looks like for them in that moment: what would you like for me right now?
A lot of what you’re doing in this season of life with families is creating that space, holding that space and creating a place for families to let someone know what they need… and be asked. Because we also know that in early parenthood, that doesn’t happen very much. There’s not a whole lot of… you’re giving, giving, giving, giving, giving to this tiny human and whether or not you have a co-parenting partner, it can be really hard. Many people, I will say, don’t have — who is asking them what they need, right? Because often when we’re sleep deprived, or we’re overwhelmed, there’s an immediate go to.
There’s that switch of, without that pause, of the other person who’s trying to provide support, often goes right into trying to solve the problem. And all of this is not to say that there isn’t a problem that we solve within a Learn With Less® class, right? Of course, what we’re doing and actually, I’d love to hear what you would define that as – what, what is it that we are doing? If we’re not solving, solving all the problems of early parenthood? Why do people come to your classes to Learn With Less® classes? What is it that they get out of it, other than having a space to come to where they can feel seen and heard and held? Because just that is super valuable to people! But there’s a lot more, right? And so what what else is it that you’re doing for families, Desiree?
Desiree: I’m gonna go back to that, to that sense of community that you’re building. Especially when we have Learn With Less® facilitators that offer a series of classes, right, that you’re going to see these consistent faces over a certain amount of time, and you will more than likely exchange phone numbers with somebody, right? So that’s another connection that you’ve made locally. And I think that was the that was the other thing that drew me in, Ayelet, I’ll bring it back, is the fact that you’re encouraging us to be in our local communities.
And so it makes it easier for parents and caregivers to make those local connections. Isn’t that what we want? That when you are not in this space, when you’re not in the space of Empowered Family Collective with Desiree, that you are potentially connecting at the local park or the coffee shop when we are not all together. The other part is that we are holding our parents and caregivers and those children at the same time. When I think about traditional classes, like a music class, for example. It is mostly geared towards the children.
But yet we incorporate our parents and caregivers by engaging in the conversation of hey, what are your roses and thorns this week? I want to hear from you very intentionally about what you are excited about and what was challenging this week. So there’s that layer, again, of visibility for the adults that helped bring the children to this space. And so yeah, I have goosebumps.
Ayelet: Yeah, it’s powerful stuff. And then of course, without failing to mention the entire developmental enrichment piece of it. So I want to hear about that, too. For sure.
Desiree: That part I get really excited about. I’m a child development nerd. I really enjoyed the classes that I took both in undergrad and graduate school. And so I really appreciate being able to talk about that with families, because one, we talked about this: time is a very precious yet scarce resource. We no longer potentially have the time to read the 100 page book about what to expect. Allow me to be your personal, oh my gosh, what was it back in the day, they were yellow. If you wanted to read a book… allow me to be your personal CliffsNotes. Yeah, around child development, in particular. Why is my kid waking up at 3am every morning? Or why is it that my child’s appetite is very unpredictable? Right?
Well, Oh, well, I’ve spent 16 years in a classroom, I’ve seen a variety of things, I have my own children to kind of add to the mix, right? Allow me to, to maybe offer three or four possibilities. And if you want them, some solutions that you might try at home. So yes, the whole child development piece. Then of course, the enrichment part, right? Is how do we put these philosophies into practice? But in a way, that’s not scary, very approachable, again, using the things that we already have at home. And I think that’s where the simplicity comes in. Again, I’m not asking you to go out and buy all these things. Everything that you need to create an engaging environment for your child is already in your home.
Ayelet: Yes, whatever kind of home you live in, whether it’s big, or small, yes. Whether you have ample storage, or none at all, yeah, okay. So Desiree, you’ve acknowledged that your business is called Empowered Family Collective. So I’d love to hear what it is, if you can speak specifically to what it is you’re empowering families to do.
Desiree: Yes. The seeds were planted during the pandemic. And I had a number of families that had been part of my program, my early childhood program, when I was teaching, reach out to me because we were still connected. Because they just weren’t sure how to navigate the pandemic. We were all homeschooling, et cetera, et cetera. And I had done this with a number of families. And I thought, I feel like I’m kind of good at this, and I still got it. So there’s something there. That led me to the proposition for myself, like, okay, so if you’re going to do this, what is it that you’re trying to do here Desiree? And the word empowerment kept coming up, because what I was finding is these families that were coming to me just seemed disempowered, and potentially because they were so flippin’ tired.
So I am here to help you step into that empowerment that still exists. It may be dormant right now, and to potentially connect you with the resources or local resources that can help you get to the next step. I think the empowerment piece also comes in to play when I am listening, I’m actively listening to these parents and caregivers. I’m actually reflecting back what I’m hearing and or validating what I’m hearing and what they’re experiencing and feeling. And I think that when you are truly heard, when you feel like you’re heard, and you’re visible, that you actually realize that oh, she’s in there still, and I am going to make it through this season. It may not feel like it today, but I’m going to.
So, multiple conversations with these families over time, none of these things were fixed overnight, not not even fixed. I don’t like to use the word fixed. It took time to address what was happening for them. Some of them are still ongoing. But it was really helpful to have someone that they trusted, someone that had been in the classroom for a number of years. Someone who had sort of the educational background to help them figure out what might be happening and what next steps were. Sometimes you just need someone to say, what if you tried this? Here are three options, and here is where you might potentially go for that support.
Values Driven Business, Values Driven Life
Ayelet: Yeah, I think it’s so important to to really get to the core of what motivates us, as business owners, as parents, as women, as humans. And really understanding what the values are that guide our choices in making decisions, right, because that, when we move back into those values, whether those are of the company that you’re building, or the way you are parenting, actually stating those out loud, writing them down somewhere, having that set of belief systems to guide you… really helps. So of course, empowering families is one thing for you. But I’d love to hear if you’re willing to share, Desiree a few of the other values that are really guiding you.
Desiree: Yes, I all of a sudden had this vision of when I had engaged in the rocks, pebbles, sand – you can actually Google this – framework around how to identify what your rocks are, when you put all of those together, the rocks are the ones that take up the most space in the physical vessel that you put them in. And those actually, for me, translated into my values. And my values, my very first one, actually, is my family. The other one was my career. The other one is also my wellness. And I have two more, but they they slipped my mind at the moment.
So I use those values for myself. They help me make decisions. I use this very same sort of provocation invitation, if you will, for families that have needed help to say… I don’t know which school to send my child to. And my response is… Sometimes they’d come in with like piles of printed articles around data, just data, right? And that’s how they thought! And so I would take them along a different path, sometimes an uncomfortable path and I’d say well, what are your values as a parenting unit? What are your values as a family? And if you haven’t established them, here’s a way that you can.
We actually have our values as a family posted in a common space very clearly so that we can go back to them when we have hard conversations. And so when I think about just to bring it full circle, when I think about my full time job writing this new chapter around starting my business, Empowered Family Collective, I kept my family at the forefront. How is this going to impact them?
What ways can I include them in this in this chapter, which my daughter made her own name tag and she had her name, her age, and on the top, it said, employee, she laminated it. And so that’s just an easy example, if you will, of how I have used my values to inform this chapter of mine. And the way in which I think about how I’m I’m actually executing the vision that I have for myself. What I do as a parent educator – I prefer to call myself a parent partner – is rooted in family, whatever, whatever that looks like! I wish there was a different term that we could use. So I’m going to figure that out.
Ayelet: Well, let’s talk about that, actually, because I do find myself using the the word “parent education” so often. But I think it’s so useful to explore what does that mean? How else can we say that? What are we actually referring to when we’re talking about parent education? For you, what would you say in terms of like, why you prefer the “parent partner,” instead of “parent educator” piece? What does that bring up for you? What, what resonates there?
Desiree: It brings up sort of a division of power for some reason. And so when I think of partner, you and I are side by side, potentially linked in arms if you want to. The other word that I love using is Sherpa. We’re on this journey together. Allow me to utilize the information and experience that I’ve gathered over time to help you and inform you as you go through this experience that you’ve never gone through before. And working with you, working with a number of the educators that I’ve worked with in the past, I’ve just learned to really value belonging.
Yeah, not just inclusion, belonging. And so I have learned to use “y’all” more. “Hey, everyone,” and then so much of what I post has slashes, right. It’s like parents slash caregiver slash, etc, etc, because, and I, I say that out loud, because it’s like, I just want people to feel like they belong in this space. Oh, my gosh, that’s it. I’m trying to cultivate a sense of belonging. I know that the Learn With Less® framework allows us to do that. And that is so clear in your value statement too. And I think I told you in the beginning, that really drew me to your values are so clear. And that allows someone like me to say, hey! My values actually line up with Ayelet’s. And this framework that she has created. So the decision was so clear. I’m in.
Ayelet: Yeah, I love that. Thank you for sharing that does. The piece that I wanted to really tease out of there is in terms of the belonging piece, and how that relates to how we talk about things at Learn With Less®, and to really emphasize about what you said in terms of those slashes. And the partner piece is how we speak about our role as facilitators of a space or guides. Versus a leader, a class leader, a teacher, an expert, right? And that, what you said there in terms of, let me guide you through a process. Let me move you through an understanding. Let me give you the Cliff Notes, right, let me break it down into bite sized manageable pieces of information that you can utilize right now to understand how to build the connection between you and your child in a way that feels natural to you.
And also, how to really feel confident that you are doing all of the things that you need to be doing, quote unquote, “need to be doing right” in terms of supporting their learning and development in all those areas of learning – cognitive development and communication, development and motor and sensory development and social and emotional development, right? Because we go through all of those things within the different classes that we hold, and we have a very clear breakdown of ways in which we address all those areas of learning. So I’m curious, what for you stands out in terms of the actual curriculum and the way that it’s broken down for families? How does it allow you to do the job of empowering families to feel confident? How does it facilitate for you a process of transition in that way that you’ve said is so important?
Desiree: Well, one of the more powerful pieces around what we do is we’re basically equipping our parents and our caregivers with information that is so powerful. It’s a game changer often, but again in a way that is bite-sized, and is just so easily understandable. So we’re equipping this community with knowledge that is going to help them in their home when we’re not with them. And two, helping our parents, caregivers, families, units understand and see the value around play, natural play, let them play.
Ayelet: It comes back to what we were talking about earlier, in terms of just like that pause, instead of providing an answer, or a direction, or a solution. It’s also letting… providing that model for families that you’re doing, also provides them to do that, and step back and watch what their child is doing, what their child is interested in. So that then they can respond, and support, and clue in and provide the words or the tools, for their child to do the play. To actually do the learning. And then for them to create that environment around the child that facilitates even a deeper level of it through the interaction.
Desiree: Yes, the other part is the playfulness that the adults are encouraged to engage in. So parenthood is hard. But it doesn’t always have to be! That it is okay, it is encouraged to bring in playfulness. And I’ll give you an example. My kids don’t like to brush their teeth. So guess what mama does, I go in there, I make up a silly song, it may not be in tune. And I’m actually brushing my teeth with them maybe took five minutes in my day.
Sure, I could have been washing the dishes, I could have been doing other things. But making those intentional choices around being playful myself, has helped me many times over. So we’re modeling that right? That that’s okay. Two: the practicality of what we are sharing that again, you do not have to come to this space that we are in together once every few weeks, you can do this in your home. And that’s the idea. Yeah, the practicality.
Intentionally Building Slowly
Ayelet: Alright, Desiree with our very short remaining time, I would love to ask you about the intentional building that you’re doing, like the building of what you’re creating, and how you’ve gone about that. Because you’ve been very intentional about really being interpersonal, more one on one interactions and reaching out to your existing community and the people who you know, and who can help to facilitate connections for you. And now you’ve also stepped into some additional sort of marketing type adventures. So I would love to just hear very briefly about what that’s been like for you – that process of stepping into actually letting other people know about what you’re doing here.
Desiree: Yes, when I knew that I was going to write this chapter, I knew that I needed to be very intentional and slow about it. Because as I’ve gotten older, and as I’ve peeled back my childhood, mamahood, adulthood, I have learned that I am, one, an introvert. Two, that slow and easy is my pace. I am happily going to hang out in the slow lane, like, let me be. So honoring me has become very important and it’s also one of my values. And so I don’t like to make mistakes. And so going slow allows me to avoid as many of them as possible.
I did make mistakes along the way but they were mistakes that I felt like I learned a lot from, right, some of the things that I had done were sort of out of order, if you will, in regards to setting up an LLC for example. And my time also led me, my own sort of resource, like my time, really led that. You know, I work full time, kiddos are with me, and so when is it that I can earmark some uninterrupted time to doing this and looking at this more closely.
A lot of it was just having that internal banter with myself. I call her the negative roommate. She tells me sometimes that I’m not good enough, you’re not going fast enough. What is it that you’re doing? And so I say to her, I hear you and it’s not true, right? So I try to combat those messages. You know, with that, I just I try to make very intentional choices. Yeah, and it’s, it’s okay to go slow because ultimately I want to be proud of what it is that I’m doing and that stands true today.
Ayelet: And what a perfect place to land. Yes, Desiree thank you so so much for your time today. We will be linking to all of your beautiful links but just for all the folks at home who are listening will you let them know where they can find you?
Desiree: Yes, on Instagram you can find me at @empoweredfamilycollective all one word. And the same thing for my website empoweredfamilycollective.com.
Ayelet: Awesome. I cannot wait to send people your way. Thank you so much for you your time and energy today, Dez!
Desiree: Thank you for having me! Again, you and I could talk for hours, and so this just felt so natural and so good.
