What can we give each other?
I love being able to get to know other parents and caregivers. I love the opportunity to observe others, to hear about strategies or play ideas that work for others, to get inspired by the sweetness of an interaction or a song I overhear.
One of my favorite parts of being a parent is getting opportunities to learn from other parents. This is something that can be so helpful, and yet so many of us have so few opportunities to do it. Life gets busy… and it can be difficult to reach outward for support when we’re already in overdrive.
Inside the members area of the Learn With Less™ Curriculum, we do regular member features so that it’s easier to get to know each other (even through a virtual platform), and to give each other the opportunity to synthesize information, empathize, and catch a glimpse into other parents’ lives.
And over time, a really neat sense of community can develop – when we meet for virtual parent support groups, we get to actually look inside each others’ homes – from the comfort of our own homes – bringing a true sense of connectedness, even when we may physically be across the world from one another.
We get to notice the little things – how does she have her baby’s toys organized? What do they do about babyproofing? What kind of space does their baby have to explore? And, my personal favorite… Oh good, I’m not the only one still in my pajamas…
I want to introduce you to one of our participants of the Learn With Less™ Curriculum… Me!
Who are you?
Ayelet Marinovich, M.A., CCC-SLP. I’m a mother to two little boys (at the time I write this, I have a 13-month old and a 4-year old), a pediatric speech-language pathologist (I love working with infants, toddlers and their families), and a parent educator.
I’m also the creator of Learn With Less – a comprehensive set of resources connecting families with each other and with high-quality information to support their infants and toddlers.
What was life like for you when you started a family?
My husband and I were pretty freshly married, and we moved from the San Francisco Bay Area across the pond to London, England. I didn’t know anybody, didn’t know the health care system, and was waiting for my paperwork to transfer so I could work as a speech-language pathologist.
I was alone with my thoughts for most of the days, so I did a lot of reading, a lot of exploring of the city’s offerings, and started attending a wonderful prenatal yoga class. That’s where I met a lot of other wonderful women who were also expecting their first babies. That space really brought us together, and as we got to know each other, I started thinking about how I could keep our little circle together once our babies came.
After all our babies were born (and after I was out of the initial deepest depths of post partum days and weeks), I craved community and the opportunity to be with other new families.
I started inviting my new friends over for a bit of activity based around our babies, an opportunity to chat and learn about our babies, and an opportunity to chat and learn about each other.
I created a space where we felt comfortable learning, sharing, and connecting – and I got to exist in that space every week! As an extrovert who craves social interaction and as a child development nerd who loves to learn, I was in heaven.
Who has inspired you as a parent or caregiver?
My own mom, for sure. Especially when we were little, she always gave my sister and I the space to explore. She has a positive, loving presence, and she is one of the most caring people I know.
When was the first time you held a baby?
The first time that I can remember, I was probably about 7. The baby was the son of a family friend, and I remember him wiggling around all of the sudden – and losing my grip!
I was horrified, and he nearly fell, but his dad (with those crazy cat-like parent reflexes) caught him. Not a great introduction, but a good lesson about how mindful one must be!!
When did you know you wanted to become a parent?
I think I always wanted to be a mom… my own mom was such a great inspiration (as I mentioned above), and such a great model of caregiving. I definitely knew I didn’t want to do it before I was “ready,” but it’s always such an interesting adventure once we get to the stage in life when readiness is ready to be defined.
I can remember holding a baby when my now-husband and I were still dating. I must have been about 27 or 28 at the time. All of the sudden, I felt this crazy wave of emotion – something wild took hold of me that I had never before experienced.
It was totally bizarre to me that I would all of the sudden have what I can only describe as a “magnetic” urge. Some power or force was drawing me to hold that baby. I thought it was so strange, and it also made me consider that perhaps that was my body suggesting that “readiness” was approaching!!
What is your greatest hope for your child/children?
Integrity. I hope that I can instill in them the values that allow them to be good, independent, respectful, decent human beings that think of other human beings and are able to make decisions that take others into consideration.
Give us a “day in the life?”
The boys generally wake up between 6-6:30am. Lately, my husband has been doing the early shift (since my little one is still waking up at least once in the night), and gets them up and dressed while I get at least another 20 minutes of sleep in (THANK YOU, husband)!
I take over with the littles, we take turns showering and getting dressed, and get breakfast on the table for the boys. It’s all a bit of a team effort. My husband runs out the door around the same time that our babysitter arrives, and I disappear into my office to get my working hours in. I cram as much work into the next 4 hours as possible, and then at 12, I’m with the boys again.
I finish up lunchtime stuff, and then we take my big boy to pre-school. We try to stay for circle time, and then my little guy and I get back home and hang out and play for a little while before a nap. He wakes, we take a walk, we pick up big brother, and then all come home to play. This is a great time to be outside if the weather’s nice.
Otherwise, we try to get some other big movement in somehow – climbing on specified furniture, standing up and drawing on an easel, taking turns pushing each other down the hallway in a laundry basket… and then we try to mellow out with some music, and go into more focused play (my little guy often plays with kitchen items and big guy gets busy with his cars) while I try to make dinner. This works better some days than others!
My husband gets home, we sit down together to eat, and then it’s bathtime, stories, and bed. We split the difference, and I put the little one down while my husband does the more extended bedtime routine with the big boy.
They’re both out by 7:30 or 8pm, and we get some time to decompress… Ok, I get some time to catch up on work emails and we watch our favorite TV show or part of a movie. We try to turn off screens about 30 minutes before we go to bed, and then we head into the bedroom to read, hang out, and then say good night!
What’s been your most valuable quality, skill or ability in raising your baby/children so far?
I think I’m very lucky to have the ability to connect with others. I reach out to my community, and I build community as often as I can and in as many ways as I can. That’s how I feel supported, that’s how I feel like I’m not alone in this parenting adventure.
I think it helps so much to have other people to help you synthesize information, to reflect, and to empathize. Parenting in a vacuum can be horribly isolating… but it’s also unhelpful to have too much parenting advice – that’s why we need a place (or places) to share experiences, thoughts, and ideas. To me, that’s what a community is.
What’s been your greatest challenge in raising your baby/children?
Balance. Finding balance between their needs, my personal needs, the needs of my partnership, my professional needs and desires, and the needs of my home and friendships.
What else would you like us to know about you and your family?
We are full of love, full of life, and often, we are just trying to get through the day. Having two young kids is insane, baffling, challenging, and incredible.
Some days, I feel like a complete failure as a mom, and some days, I have wins. I’m hoping that it all evens out in the end, and we just do the best we can.
What do you want to learn from the members and events within the Learn With Less™ Curriculum?
I get a real thrill learning from the experience of others. It’s not about being a voyeur, it’s about getting a glimpse into the way others live their lives, think about their lives, think about their families, and fulfill their desires and needs.
I think the conversations we have inside the members area of the Learn With Less™ Curriculum are not unique, per se, but the space we continue to create together there is very special.
Another member described it (and I love this) as “informally informative” – a place we can go to seek out information, ideas, compare experiences, and experiment with this experience and adventure of parenthood. I just want to continue doing that!!!